Daniel’s teachers have learned much more about child development as they have seen even the tiniest of changes in what he does. With many other children, they progress so fast that these changes go unnoticed; such as the way your entire body has to learn how to walk up stairs, not just your legs. Or in the way your mouth, arms, hands and trunk of your body has to mold itself and build up muscles in order to drink from a straw or an open cup. This has allowed the teachers to creatively help other children who are struggling, know exactly what tips and tricks to use to help the others in the classroom as well as Daniel. They have realized that nothing we do is automatic, that our bodies adjust to even the slightest changes and as teachers, we can promote these changes in order to help with development.

Daniel’s friends (his classmates), benefit from this since their teachers are more aware of how a child physically develops. Many of them are learning to help Daniel, by holding his hand and looking out for him even though he is quite capable of doing most things on his own. They realize that Daniel isn’t exactly like them, just as each of them is different from the other. Is Daniel thought of as different or special? No, he is a part of their circle of friends and accepted be each person. This is what inclusion is all about; if acceptance starts with the little ones, then it will be part of the big world.

Now I am a first-year teacher in the Chicago area.  I continue to practice what I learned about inclusion and friendships.  There is a photo of Micah with his big smile in my classroom reminding me of what true friendship is and how important it is that every student in my classroom feels included.  There is a young man with Asperger’s syndrome who is a student in my classroom.  Although his needs are different from Micah’s, I often try to get him involved with the other students in ways that he might not do himself.

I believe that inclusion is a powerful tool that when used properly has a lifelong effect.  I first learned it when I was a student in high school sitting next to Micah in science class.  I am not learning it as a teacher in high school.

Oliver and Micah

When I was a second semester senior in high school, I was definitely ready to move on to life after high school.  I was ready to be out.  When the school social worker asked me if I wanted to earn a half-credit by being a peer tutor for a tenth grader who had a cognitive disability and was included in the general education science class, I gladly accepted.  Truthfully I wanted a blow-off class, and this definitely sounded like a great option.

My responsibilities were to assist Micah in reading and writing.  It took some time for me to understand exactly what that meant.  When I would read from the textbook, he would get bored easily and his eyes would wander out the window.  As time went on, I realized that Micah was not really absorbing much of the material.  He needed something else to stimulate his mind.  Thus, I began using real-life examples and talking about science and how it relates to our everyday life.  If we were talking about velocity in science class, I talked about the speeding cars in the school parking lot.  If we were talking about solids, liquid, and gas, we went to the drinking fountain and let the water run over our hands.  Micah began to understand the basic concepts of science as we know them today.  As time when on, I realized that I was not just teaching Micah, but rather Micah was also teaching me.  Micah was challenging me to learn about him and the ways he comprehended the material.

Although my sole focus in the beginning of the semester was to assist Micah in science class, I began to learn about Micah as a person.  We began to spend time together outside of class.  I began learning that Micah had the same needs as me and that we shared a lot in common, especially sports (Go Pistons!).  This might sound strange, but I believe that when kids with disabilities are not included and actively participating in school, general-ed students never learn how to develop relationships with them.  You get a very narrow picture of who they are.  They are just the “spec ed” kids.  They are just labels – someone you might say “hi” to, but that’s about it.

Being with Micah opened my eyes and I guess my heart, too.  I now know how important it is to get to know the person.   To start from a place that recognizes that all human beings share the desire to have friends and hang out.  I learned that you can only become friends over time, over conversation, and being involved in real activities.

Jan Boyd

I am reminded of an incident during one school year when a new student arrived and was not only new to the district, but also new to the culture of the United States, having lived in a different country prior to moving here. The Circle of Friends befriended him and asked him to join their meetings and activities.  It was this group of youth that helped him feel welcomed in a new environment.  This was a wonderful example of taking the term “special needs” to a new dimension…I think that these young people understand that there are many forms of special needs that need to be addressed and nurtured.

Matthew Weinger

I moved to suburban Detroit from out of state toward the end of fifth grade, when I was ten years old.  I found myself as the much maligned new kid amongst 75 or so children who’d been together since kindergarten.  What easily could have meant disaster for my self-esteem instead became a love affair with my new friends.  I was almost immediately embraced, welcomed, and included by Micah and his peers, a group known as the Circle of Friends.

It turns out that being the new kid is a blessing in disguise.  I’m sure Micah at the time thought little of what he had done.  But look, that’s the whole point!  To him I was merely a new friend.  A quick display of friendliness and compassion on his part meant the entire world to someone else, that being me.  I won’t ever forget that day…Circle of Friends more than opened my eyes; it opened my heart and opened my mind.

I no longer see the world the way I used to see it.  No more cool kids and weirdos or jocks and dorks. No more retards.  Micah, his family and his circle have taught me to view and accept people as individuals without classifications.  Just because someone stutters doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy of conversation.  A blind man would certainly enjoy being read aloud to.  Someone who can’t run so fast may still get satisfaction from being a member of a track and field team.  A child who has poor penmanship could well be a magnificent writer.  Luckily, the standards by which society measures people are evolving, if ever for the better…

Thanks to Micah and his Circle of Friends, I feel as though I am a better friend, a better person, leading a better life.

Mike Boyd

I met Micah in the first grade, and that day we met will stick out in my mind for the rest of my life.  You see, my desk was kitty-corner to Micah’s, and Katie’s (still one of my best friends today) was right next to his.

One day we were all sitting there at our desks, and Micah got sick, real sick.  It ended up on his desk, my desk, Katie’s desk and so on; I think you get the point.  Just about every single person in the class started laughing and saying “sick, ughh,” but I didn’t.  At that time I had absolutely no clue who Micah was, but that was not the point.  I didn’t know Micah had what some may call a disability or wasn’t able to read or write like most of us were learning, to me he was just like everyone else.  To this day I feel the exact same way, he is just like everyone else…different.

No, Micah can’t read as fast as you can, but when you read something to Micah he will remember it better than you will.  That is what I wanted to explain my whole entire life to people who look differently at Micah.  They see this kid, and some just don’t want to give him a chance, but Micah has made me want to succeed.  My whole life he has looked up to me, acted like me, and in no way could I ever let him down.

After first grade we didn’t really meet again until third grade when Circle of Friends was started.  Circle of Friends was an after-school program created to give students an opportunity to interact with Micah.  Each year a different group got to hang out together, but each year is was the same idea, to have fun.  We did many things such as community service, visited a local tv news broadcast station, went to sports events, and so on.  We met at least one time a week after school to discuss with the school social worker things we felt Micah was doing good with and things we felt he needed to work on.  After the talk we went on to eat, play, and have fun with one another.

Micah Fialka-Feldman

My name is Micah. I am 25 years old and I want to tell you about my life and my dreams.  In first grade I was in a special ed classroom because I had a cognitive disability.  I was not in the same room as my friends.  After about four months, I told my parents, “I want to go in the same door as my friends.”  That was my first dream for myself.

My parents listened to me. They helped me to get my dream to come true.  I was moved into the class where all of my friends were and I stayed with my friends all the way through high school.  It was cool. My friends helped me and we had fun. Sometimes they would write down what I wanted to say in my journal because I didn’t write. I had a great Circle of Friends and we did fun things together during recess and sometimes after school.  Some of them are still my friends now.  I got help from my teachers too.

In high school, I still went to the general ed classes.  I learned other ways to do some things. Because of my disability I don’t write. I have a lot of sight words, but I don’t read like most of my friends. I use special software like “screen reader” which reads whatever is on my computer screen. I also use Dragon Naturally Speaking ®. I talk into my microphone and the words I say go on the screen. I can read and send my own emails. I can learn a lot by using the computer. All kids like me should know about these things.

Since 5^th grade I was a part of my IEP meetings (Individual Educational Planning). My friends would come for the first part to talk about what they thought I was learning.  Sometimes I did a power point of my dreams and what I wanted to learn in school.  It was cool to have my friends at the meeting because they had good ideas to help me. They didn’t stay for the whole meeting., they thought it was kind of boring!!!

In high school, my parents wanted me to run cross country. At first I didn’t like the idea, but I got use to it.  I could only run about a block in my freshman year. When I was a senior I ran 2 miles in 23 minutes.  I was proud….and tired.

I still learned a lot in high school. Sometimes I didn’t write a paper but I would interview someone on a topic and video tape it. I would give this to the teacher and it would be my paper.

I will tell you more about my life in another blog.  There is a lot to tell you. I travel all around the country to speak at conferences about my life and how other kids can be included in their schools. I tell teachers and parents to help the kids have big dreams.

micahff@aol.com

www.throughthesamedoor.com