However, Micah’s drive for an inclusive education meant that I grew to love and value Micah for Micah, for who he is. Inclusion became fundamentally important for me as well as Micah. Inclusion meant that a community was being created around Micah. When I was in first grade, I saw Micah at recess with his peers—laughing and playing. Throughout my middle school experience, I saw Micah involved in peer groups. That meant that on some weekends, he’d leave home for overnight excursions with his friends. In high school, my older brother encouraged me to go to school dances and ultimately, the prom. He knew how important prom was for his high school experience and he wanted me to have that same “good time”. When I went off to college, I told my new college peers that my brother went to college too. I didn’t always have to explain the advocacy side of him; he could also just be my older brother who was studying at the university. Inclusion normalized his disability. The tangible results of inclusion meant that I could see others value Micah, I could see Micah participating in everyday activities, and in turn I could value Micah.

Now a junior at Mount Holyoke College, I am studying the intersection of disability and education issues. When I graduate I will have my teaching certificate in Early-Childhood Education. It is important that I teach in an inclusive classroom—so that the siblings in my classroom will see other individuals with disabilities participating, engaging with their peers, and ultimately being respected. My hope is that, they too, will be able to learn to appreciate their brother or sister with disabilities.

Most recently I helped Micah move into his dorm room. This was a powerful moment for me.

May all siblings of a brother or sister with a disability be able to help their sibling move out of their home into a home that they choose. May they be able to feel mixed emotions of over-protectiveness and excitement.  May they be able to talk to each other in a new way because now they both live away from home. May the sibling (without disabilities) who has felt embarrassed, pushed to the side, heard too many phone calls about a meeting for their sibling, ever felt alone, ever felt uncertain about the role they may play in their brother or sister’s future, ever felt frustrated at the way the rest of the world looks at their brother or sister—may they too experience something so great as I did when I helped my so-called “atypical” “retarded” “can’t do anything” “will never speak” “just put him in an institution” … yes, my creative, courageous, witty, powerful, brilliant, intelligent, loving, conscientious, funny, older brother move into a dorm, so he, too, can be once again be just my brother.

Daniel’s teachers have learned much more about child development as they have seen even the tiniest of changes in what he does. With many other children, they progress so fast that these changes go unnoticed; such as the way your entire body has to learn how to walk up stairs, not just your legs. Or in the way your mouth, arms, hands and trunk of your body has to mold itself and build up muscles in order to drink from a straw or an open cup. This has allowed the teachers to creatively help other children who are struggling, know exactly what tips and tricks to use to help the others in the classroom as well as Daniel. They have realized that nothing we do is automatic, that our bodies adjust to even the slightest changes and as teachers, we can promote these changes in order to help with development.

Daniel’s friends (his classmates), benefit from this since their teachers are more aware of how a child physically develops. Many of them are learning to help Daniel, by holding his hand and looking out for him even though he is quite capable of doing most things on his own. They realize that Daniel isn’t exactly like them, just as each of them is different from the other. Is Daniel thought of as different or special? No, he is a part of their circle of friends and accepted be each person. This is what inclusion is all about; if acceptance starts with the little ones, then it will be part of the big world.

Now I am a first-year teacher in the Chicago area.  I continue to practice what I learned about inclusion and friendships.  There is a photo of Micah with his big smile in my classroom reminding me of what true friendship is and how important it is that every student in my classroom feels included.  There is a young man with Asperger’s syndrome who is a student in my classroom.  Although his needs are different from Micah’s, I often try to get him involved with the other students in ways that he might not do himself.

I believe that inclusion is a powerful tool that when used properly has a lifelong effect.  I first learned it when I was a student in high school sitting next to Micah in science class.  I am not learning it as a teacher in high school.

The best part of being at college is being around my peers.  I don’t have to be with kids who are younger than me.  I can be with people who are 20, like me, and hang out with them and have fun.

On top of my school work, I do a lot of extra-curricular stuff.  I am in the Social Work club and in Hillel, a Jewish club.  I’m in another Jewish group outside school, called USY (United Synagogue Youth).  I’m also on the national youth board of KASA, which stands for Kids as Self Advocates.  It’s a brand of an organization called Family Voices.  I joined the board of KASA in 2001.

This semester, I’m taking a communication class and a mental health class, and I’m taking an independent study on computers.  I get help from my peers, and I get help from the teachers in my program.  My peer helpers will send me emails, or help me to make flash cards and talk to me on the phone.  I can meet with the professors and go over notes with them, too.  When I take tests and exams, someone reads them to me.

I also get to complete assignments in different ways.  For example, in one class I had, all the students had to write a paper about the Bush versus Kerry election, and the teacher asked me if I wanted to do a videotape instead.  So I did an interview with Elizabeth Bauer of the Michigan State Board of Education about her job.

My first day of college was a bit scary, but I got used to it.  Overall, the transition was fun and exciting, and I had a good teacher who helped me make my dream to go to college come true.  I take two buses to the campus and sometimes get a ride home with a friend.  In the Oakland University Transition program, students like me take two to four classes and do volunteer job training exercises at the Lowry Childhood Education Center and the student radio station, WXOU.  I also work at the Student Activities Center.  We’re also involved with the recreation and social stuff on campus.  I still have an IEP, and I have meetings at the end of every year, just like I did in high school.

Oliver and Micah

When I was a second semester senior in high school, I was definitely ready to move on to life after high school.  I was ready to be out.  When the school social worker asked me if I wanted to earn a half-credit by being a peer tutor for a tenth grader who had a cognitive disability and was included in the general education science class, I gladly accepted.  Truthfully I wanted a blow-off class, and this definitely sounded like a great option.

My responsibilities were to assist Micah in reading and writing.  It took some time for me to understand exactly what that meant.  When I would read from the textbook, he would get bored easily and his eyes would wander out the window.  As time went on, I realized that Micah was not really absorbing much of the material.  He needed something else to stimulate his mind.  Thus, I began using real-life examples and talking about science and how it relates to our everyday life.  If we were talking about velocity in science class, I talked about the speeding cars in the school parking lot.  If we were talking about solids, liquid, and gas, we went to the drinking fountain and let the water run over our hands.  Micah began to understand the basic concepts of science as we know them today.  As time when on, I realized that I was not just teaching Micah, but rather Micah was also teaching me.  Micah was challenging me to learn about him and the ways he comprehended the material.

Although my sole focus in the beginning of the semester was to assist Micah in science class, I began to learn about Micah as a person.  We began to spend time together outside of class.  I began learning that Micah had the same needs as me and that we shared a lot in common, especially sports (Go Pistons!).  This might sound strange, but I believe that when kids with disabilities are not included and actively participating in school, general-ed students never learn how to develop relationships with them.  You get a very narrow picture of who they are.  They are just the “spec ed” kids.  They are just labels – someone you might say “hi” to, but that’s about it.

Being with Micah opened my eyes and I guess my heart, too.  I now know how important it is to get to know the person.   To start from a place that recognizes that all human beings share the desire to have friends and hang out.  I learned that you can only become friends over time, over conversation, and being involved in real activities.

Jan Boyd

I am reminded of an incident during one school year when a new student arrived and was not only new to the district, but also new to the culture of the United States, having lived in a different country prior to moving here. The Circle of Friends befriended him and asked him to join their meetings and activities.  It was this group of youth that helped him feel welcomed in a new environment.  This was a wonderful example of taking the term “special needs” to a new dimension…I think that these young people understand that there are many forms of special needs that need to be addressed and nurtured.

Matthew Weinger

I moved to suburban Detroit from out of state toward the end of fifth grade, when I was ten years old.  I found myself as the much maligned new kid amongst 75 or so children who’d been together since kindergarten.  What easily could have meant disaster for my self-esteem instead became a love affair with my new friends.  I was almost immediately embraced, welcomed, and included by Micah and his peers, a group known as the Circle of Friends.

It turns out that being the new kid is a blessing in disguise.  I’m sure Micah at the time thought little of what he had done.  But look, that’s the whole point!  To him I was merely a new friend.  A quick display of friendliness and compassion on his part meant the entire world to someone else, that being me.  I won’t ever forget that day…Circle of Friends more than opened my eyes; it opened my heart and opened my mind.

I no longer see the world the way I used to see it.  No more cool kids and weirdos or jocks and dorks. No more retards.  Micah, his family and his circle have taught me to view and accept people as individuals without classifications.  Just because someone stutters doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy of conversation.  A blind man would certainly enjoy being read aloud to.  Someone who can’t run so fast may still get satisfaction from being a member of a track and field team.  A child who has poor penmanship could well be a magnificent writer.  Luckily, the standards by which society measures people are evolving, if ever for the better…

Thanks to Micah and his Circle of Friends, I feel as though I am a better friend, a better person, leading a better life.